Gender Talk

Men and women experience life differently, and although they use the same words and phrases, they reference them differently, and therefore, they use language differently.

Trenholm says that "we are the victims of gender expectations from the moment we're born" (p.86), and from the moment we start learning the language, we also start learning how to use it. Even though we learn the same words, we (men and women) learn to use it in different ways.  A female grow up to become specialized in "relationally oriented talk" whereas men grow up to be specialized in" task-oriented talk" (p.87). In addition, women learn that to live life in fulfillment ,she need to be a part of a community, while men see themselves as an individuals, survivors; therefore, through her life, a female practices her social skills, and on the other hand, a male practices competitiveness.

Nevertheless, Trenholm informs that scholars may argue that "we do not use language the way we do because our gender, we create gender identity through language". We feel that we need to express ourselves in a way that considered being a norm for our gender; for example, a man needs to talk like men, be assertive and sound "strong".

Because men and women hold different needs and values, they use language differently. Yet, "One of the things that make language so interesting is the way it changes to meet the needs and express the values of its users". (p.73)