Culture Shock

An interesting topic from chapter 12, which I can very much relate to, is "Cultural Anxiety and Withdrawal" (p. 340). I moved to live in the U.S. 12 years ago and through the years I went through few brief periods of culture shock that largely resembled Youg Yun Kim's "draw-back-to-leap model". At these period times, I felt as an absolute stranger; I missed the language and the culture that I was so used to back at home. I missed the unique interaction and communication that I experienced while I was growing up. I lost confidence in myself, in my ability to function the way that the new culture requires me. It was almost as if I didn't know who I was anymore, and I felt that the only way I will be able to be myself again is by going back to where I was from, to where I felt that I belong.

The last time I felt this way was about three years ago; at that time the culture shock I experienced was sever and it lasted almost a year. I felt that the differences between the two cultures were so extreme that there was no single person in this new culture thatc could truly understand me. Even more, I felt that my inability to understand others put me in a major risk. I was very helpless and lonely. It took a year of counseling to bring me back on my feet and to gain the confidence to face the challenges.

Saved by Culture

Anthropologist Ruth Benedict says:

                From the moment of birth the customs into which [an individual] is born shape his experience and behavior. By the time he can talk, he is a little creature of his culture, and by the time he is grown and able to take part in its activities, its habits are his habits, its beliefs his beliefs, its impossibilities his impossibilities. (p.325)

I believe that Benedict is right; people perceive the world and behave the way they do because this is what they learn from the environment. People are dependent on others on the environment.
Growing up in a different country and into a different culture than the one I am part of today, I can recognize many habits and beliefs that are different from one culture to the other.  For example, many people, in the community that I live in today, believe that forgiveness to wrongful actions can be granted by accepting Jesus as a savior.  However, I grow up to believe that wrongful actions are experiences that only by taking responsibility through the process of understanding and correcting, one can be forgiven.

Rationality, Perfectibility, and Mutability

It may be correct to say that to a certain degree most people are capable of thinking logically, they can analyze situation and events, but I don't think that "most people are capable of discovering the truth through logical analysis." Although institutions such as democracy and the justice system based their conduct on the idea that most people through logic can discover the truth, I still think that many people can easily be persuaded by others, the way they perceive things is largely depend on their personal experience, and they can easily be deceived by their senses.
As for the perfectibility premise, I also cannot agree. I think that people are born as a "blank paper", and therefore, the mutability premise is the one that make the most sense to me. Our behavior, which include the sins and the goodness is "shaped by environmental factors and the way to improve human is to improve their physical and psychological circumstances." (p. 334)

The Chicken or The Egg?

On page 124, Trenholmse tells us that "people have strong reaction to body shape and appearance." She suggests that there are three main body types:

1.       Endomorph body shape – short, round and fat.
Endomorph characteristics – placid, contented, affable, generous, and affectionate.

2.       Mesomorph body shape – average height, muscular and athletic.
Mesomorph characteristics – energetic, enthusiastic, competitive, reckless, and optimistic.

3.       Ectomorph body shape – tall, thin, and frail.
Ectomorph characteristic – self-conscious, precise, shy, awkward, serious, and sensitive.

It is again very interesting to realize that, to a certain degree, we have no control over some of the nonverbal messages that we sencommuincate to others. This topic also remind me of a previous realization, that it is impossible to not judge other people. As it suggested, we unconsciously make judgment about people based on their body shape.
I can't help but to wonder, which came first, the chicken or the egg? ; is body shape and characteristics are genetically tie together? Or is it society and cultures that condition individuals, with a specific body shape, to adopt specific characteristics?

Speak No, See No

My mother in-law's nonverbal communications often leave me confused.  I usually feel confident about interpreting nonverbal behavior, and if I am not sure, I gently respond in such a way that triggers a feedback that clarifies the message to me.
Anyway, this is far from being the case when it comes to my mother in-law. I know her for 12 years now, and yet, every time after I share information with her, which is solely about me,not including her son or grandkids or anybody else, (such as, what classes I am planning on taking next semester, or that I am thinking about dying my hair darker, or that I got my blood tests results…) every time she respond to me with silence, and she also avoids eye contact.

This nonverbal message is very much open to many interpretations. After 12 years, I am still unable to decide what this message means, what is she telling me?  Sometimes I think, maybe she did not hear me, but if I right then say something about my kids, she responds immediately. Sometimes I think that she does it because she does not like me, but she always seems to enjoy talking to me; she shares her information with me, and she even asks for my opinions and advices.

It was finally few years ago, when I decided to just stop trying to interpret this specific nonverbal behavior, and since then I accept it the way it is; I mainly hold back from talking about myself when I am around her, but if I happen to do so (which as I said always lead her to be silent and to avoid eye contact), I just acknowledge my confusion and leave it at that.

A Strange Smile

Smile is a nonverbal message that, many people may think, carries the same meanings in all cultures; but as a matter of fact, different cultures interpreted smiles in different ways. It is true that when a smile is used as a nonverbal message between friends and family, in all cultures, it can mean happiness, joy, fun, or other positive feeling towards a person.

Yet, Americans also use smiles, as a polite gesture, when they see a stranger in an elevator, on the street, or at the store. But, in Israel, smiling to people that you don't know, just to be polite is unacceptable; in fact, if you smile to an Israeli person that you don't know, he or she may assume that you are crazy. At first, they may think that you know them from somewhere and they just can't remember you, but once they realize that they have never met you before, they will become confuse and think that you have either mistaken them with someone else, or you are just crazy. They may even feel intimidated by you.