I think that the most difficult pattern to change is the
rigid complementarity, for the reason that not only that each one of the
partners "know their place" (most of the times), but also one of them
is used to be in power over the other.
For the situation to change is takes the person that is dismissive to
step up and take power over the other; however, since this situation is also
the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the dismissive individual,
it will be a great challenge for him or her to change.
Yet, the most damaging to a relationship (rather than to an
individual) is the competitive symmetry because at all-time both partner want
to be in charge. At all-time both partners want to be the one that make the
decision. They both expect the other to be submissive and want to feel power
over the other, a situation that causes an ongoing conflict.
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